LET US STOP OUR HYPOCRISY III: THE TOWER OF BABEL AND THE HOUSE OF BABBLE

When the early humans attempted to build the tallest tower that would reach the heaven, God in fact became envious of human potentials, particularly their ability to cooperate with fellow beings. Feeling insecure, He divided their tongue with a single spell. Speaking different languages from then on, people started misunderstanding one another and the great project of building the Tower of Babel was thus given up once for all.

When the Barbarian Bishop came invading the College in May 2008, the college community rose united in anger. They raised the battle cry “Save American College” like thunder. Even the government was stunned for a while. Hail American College! Hail Academics!

Like God, Satan too saw everything. He did not like the Bishop in the first place, neither could He like the idea of people coming together to defend a good cause. He knew very well the God-Act of dividing the tongue in primordial times. With the moderns, He thought He can easily work on their penchant for treachery, caste, religion, easy money and vanity. When He finally cast the spell, the crowd became a House of Babble.

Since then, they have been talking in different tongues. They also suffer recall amnesia and memory loss; perform noontime sleep-walk; deliver incoherent speeches without provocation. You whisper in their ears ‘Liberal-Christian-Higher-Education’, they would instantly suffer a seizure similar to an epileptic fit and send forth foam. In the House of Babble, they spoke four major languages known by the following names: Bureaucratic Babble, Minority Babble, Caste Babble and Small Brain Babble.

Contrary to his initial expectation, Satan had to work hard with different constituencies to create the House of Babble.

The language Satan first imposed on any constituency was Bureaucratic Babble. This is a peculiar language of deceit and cunning that a person holding responsible public office could employ in order to misuse his office and refuse administrative justice. For instance, if a perpetrator of an offence and a victim go before say, a Commissioner of Police, the Commissioner instead of enquiring or investigating into what offence has been committed and by whom, would blatantly accuse both as having done something equally wrong that he may have to book both. Why he does it? First, at the most innocuous level, the officer is seen as evading to discharge his duty. It may be due to inefficiency, vested interest or pressure from powers that be. At a deeper level, Bureaucratic Babble is used by corrupt bureaucrats as a double edged sword. On one hand it is used as a method of extorting money or favors from the wrong doer or the criminal and on the other hand, for silencing  the real victim from raising his or her voice.

The very first day when Satan saw the solid demonstration of unity against the rioters, He decided to act. He went to the big man in Khaki, the Commissioner of Police (CoP) and whispered in his ears “Here is the gravest of grave cases coming before you. The offender is city’s prominent Christian pontiff. His offences are Trespass (IPC 452), Rioting (IPC 146) and committing fraud on property (IPC 420)… But Son, you must discretely use your babble so that you can stand to gain riches… I know the crowd is right in claiming that the College property is being thieved…. But somehow you must shut their mouth up.”

The Big Khaki thought for a while and said to himself. “Satan could be always right on worldly matters, particularly on making quick riches… I can’t afford to lose this opportunity.”

As he was walking up and down inside his expansive office room, he suddenly started murmuring something. In another minute, the murmur became a loud babble. He then called his officer on duty at the College who was trying to expel the rioting mob from inside the campus. He asked him to stop all operations against the rioters.

The baffled deputy made a feeble protest to Big Khaki saying that the rioters were truly on the wrong side. Big Khaki controlling his anger mildly chided the deputy and asked “Why on earth you try to be oversmart? Have you not heard of Babble… Bureaucratic Babble… new method of dealing with disputes… our force can spare lathis! Police can become peace force.”

Small Khaki with a little impatience responded, “You are right Sir… But here the crowd is indulging in violence. I must prevent serious mishap… goons are afterall trying to thieve the property… This apart, it is an educational institution of noble heritage… we must somehow save it… Sir, you said something about Bible… but you know Sir, I am a Hindu.”

Big Khaki retorted angrily, “You small brain! It is not Bible… it is Babble… Oh, now I understand… You are a Hindu… Hm…. That’s why you are acting Harichandra… No sermon hereafter from you. Did I ever say the college is not a noble institution? You thick head! I am more concerned about the College than you… even more concerned about it than the blasted bishop and the professors, the eggheads. All are important for us. When I ask you to babble them, I say, you make them equally responsible for the crisis irrespective of their rights and wrongs. If we police do not care for the college in the public interest, who else? We can either trust the pontiff or the eggheads. Clamp a curfew on both.”

The deputy knew the consequences of disobeying Big Khaki. He raked his brain for a while before he arrived at a solution. Then he suddenly started babbling to his colleagues and others. “No! No! It could not be a noble institution… No! How can there be noise without two hands clapping? These are two parties fighting for something precious. What could be so precious in a college raised over a period of 125 years… that too in the prime location of the city. Ah! Property! Property…. property thieves, property thieves… I will teach them all a good lesson.” By this time, his brain was suffering some magical atrophy and was wasting away.

He called for a loudspeaker climbed to the top of a parked vehicle and made his proclamation. “People listen carefully. I now on, declare this college as a disputed property. The party fighting under the Principal is called ‘A’ party and the party fighting under the Bishop is ‘B’ party. But both parties have committed offences under section 145 (1) IPC. They will be dealt with appropriately. All disperse.”

When he got down from his improvised podium, Small Khaki suddenly felt overwhelmed by the exalted pride of a colonial magistrate.

House of Babble

A noble institution with an invaluable educational and cultural heritage becoming a ‘disputed property’ is not a matter to get amused. First, it demoralized those who took up the cause against the erring Bishop. Second, it caused a doubt in the mind of the public. The Bureaucratic Babble became real grist for the rumor mill. The media blew it beyond proportion and the college came to be caricatured as a kind of a sporting arena. They made it a sensation. They just stopped short of drawing cartoons portraying the Principal and the Bishop in langode fighting a wrestling match. The Bureaucratic Babble spread to other arms of the state – the Collectorate, the Directorate of Education, the Registration Department , various ministries; you ask for it, I name it.

Even the city’s oldest Trade Union made use of the caricature. It ostentatiously believed the rumors. It’s Politbureau declared that it was a mean personal fight between the Bishop and the Principal and had nothing to do with the proletarian class interest of teachers and their livelihood. The TU would not spoil their image by engaging itself in petty matters.

This is how Satan succeeded in placing the academician-defender of the American College and looter-religious mafia on the same platform. And this is how a noble cause was caricatured to mean petty thieving by two sets of mindless Christians. After all the state is another manifestation of Satan – Leviathan. This was the beginning of the erosion of public sympathy and support for ‘Save American College’ struggle.

God by stopping ‘project Babel’ made it impossible for people to ascend to HEAVEN. But Satan by opening the House of Babble has made it easy to experience HELL.

Next, I will tell you how Minority Babble was started.

(To be continued)

Prophet